|From Walter to everyone в 07:01, 07/07/12
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What is a SEX TOURIST? And would this behavior considered to be that of a Sex Tourist?
I was wondering; what is a sex tourist?
What do foreign men do that labels them as sex tourists?
Today I was shopping at a grocery store, I was lifting some heavy containers of bottled water into my Shopping cart.
They were piled way high into the air, and I had to reach way up to the top to grab one and bring it down. When I was about to place the second heavy container or water into my cart I saw that there was a little old lady beside me with her shopping cart and she wanted one, so I asked her if she wanted one, she said ‘yes’, so instead of placing it into my cart I put the water bottles into her cart instead and said "okay, there you go." and then I smiled.
She said "Thank you so very much! ", I really made her happy that day ! And that act of kindness made me happy too, I like it when I do nice things like that for people !
So, does that make me a ‘sex tourist’ ?
I just returned from a 1 week trip to Ukraine, where for the first 5 days I visited a nurse in Poltava. I had been writing to her for 2 months and I wanted to see if there was any ‘chemistry’ between us. At first it seemed nice, she was kind and we seemed to be okay together but as we talked more I realized that the way we thought was totally different, I wanted to go hiking, she just wanted to sit and knit hats. That was just one example of many different ways we just were not right for each other, and by talking together we slowly learned this fact. But I enjoyed chatting with her so for 3 evenings after she was finished her work we would go to a different restaurant and talk about life. I paid her interpreter $20 per hour, for about 4 hours each evening. I never kissed her once during those meetings, I felt we just didn’t know enough about each other to warrant such a thing. It was only just talk. At the end of the 3rd dinner date I said ‘goodbye’ to her and I gave her a small gift of $100 USD cash so that she could buy a few things she needed, she really does not earn much money in her work so I feel a bit sorry for her.
So does that make me a sex tourist for my time spent with this lady just talking about life in general ?
I went to Yahoo Answers and I posted the above information and asked people what they thought of me, and ALL of the Russian / Ukrainian women said ‘YES’, I am a sex tourist ! That just blew me away, their mental condition is just beyond understanding. Here is one very long explanation from a lady named ‘Natasha’:
(( "I will tell you why you are a sex tourist and why you should be ashamed of yourself:
1. You "date" with women who even do not speak English. Do you REALLY believe you can find soul-mate when you even cannot talk to her without interpreter?
2. It is not your first "dating" trip to Ukraine, right?
3. You spend time with woman, you talk to her/have sex/cry about your life/whatever else (WHAT you do - does not matter) BUT after that you PAY her money and she ACCEPTS those money (yes, you call it small gift, but look the truth into the eyes - you pay someone for spending time with you). You buy woman's attention. It is called prostitution in Russia/Ukraine.
Genuine woman who would be REALLY interested in man, but, sometimes it happens - you do not fit to each other – will NEVER EVER take money from you. NEVER!
Yes, I believe type of relations you had is buying prostitute and that makes you sex tourist.
Especially since it is not your first trip and, I suppose, scenario is always the same.
May be in Canada things are different but in Russia/Ukraine if woman takes money from man who is not her long-time boyfriend when she contributes into relationship equally (may be not money if she earns less, but she takes care about him) it is called prostitution. Even if they do not have sex.
What I would not call sex-tourism is when you know that woman likes knitting BEFORE you meet her. That you know BEFORE that she likes to be at home more and when she knows BEFORE that you like active way of life. When you know almost EVERYTHING about each other because you spend hours every day talking to each other on Skype or similar programs, when you predict how she will behave, what she knows what you will say. And they only trouble in you life is 10000 km between you. But you feel like you know a person for years and you cannot imagine life without her.
ONLY THEN there is a reason to fly 10000 km and meet each other. Only then there is a chance to find your real love. And she will never ever will take 100$ from you just because she RESPECTS herself.
And couple of books for reading during long lonely evenings:
1. "Pimps and Predators on the Internet. Globalizing the Sexual Exploitation of Women and Children"
2. "The prositution of sexuality"
Do not try to cheat on yourself. You know that when you pay for any kind of services for dating site (translation, search
of women etc...) - it is all a top of dirty industry of selling women's bodies. " ))
=== end of Natasha’s letter ===